Well it's day 3 of the trip, technically day 2.5 but who's counting. Today I only did 789 miles, but I promise to entertain as much as possible on this update even though the miles are fewer.
Well today the best 2 expressions I can share with you are "I didn't mean to kill it" and "Smell this." Perhaps I should explain.
Today I transversed Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas.. No small feat if I do say so myself. Leaving North Little Rock (I was corrected this morning by the front desk clerk at the Fairfield Inn, that I "weren't in Little Rock" I was in North Little Rock.) I thought I'd have another butt numbing trip. I was wrong. Not only was my butt numb but I had a few adventures on the road.
Let's cover some of the smells I encountered along the way, shall we.
- I enjoyed the smell of ionized air in preparation for the massive rain storms that followed me through the rest of Arkansas.
- I enjoyed the smell of many cattle haulers as they passed and encircled me as I moved through Oklahoma.
- It seems many Skunk families have given their lives along the side of the road in OK. In fact I'm not sure but I think they do it on purpose to get you to drive faster through the state. -- By the way the wind really does come "sweeping down the plains" - the gusts were moving me from lane to lane through the entire state.
- Perhaps the worst smell of all was in Texas, outside of Amarillo (where you can get a 72 ounce steak for free if you eat the entire thing... I had to pay ;-( As I left the town I noticed a dense fog ahead. What I didn't realize was that the valley I was driving into was a huge cattle "processing ranch type place" The fog... was more like something from a horror film. It was in fact the worst "fecal" smell I've ever smelt... and I'm a frigin' ER nurse who knows what GI Bleeds smell like.
Well enough of my trips version of "smell-a-vision." Let's talk about the life I took today. It seems that while driving through OK, this family of criters ran across the road right in front of me. Now when you're doin' 80 it's kinda hard to stop short. So I'm sorry to say the last of them ran into my tire. That poor little Tumble Weed never had a chance. It just broke into dust. The Mommy tumble and other baby tumbles, I'm happy to say made it across my lanes, and narrowly missed an 18 wheeler going the other way. Geez, why don't they put up warning signs?
Well tomorrow should be the rest of the trip. I have about 675 miles to go.. Wish my nose and butt luck (and everything in between please).
Yes, that would be your 'Trial by Texas', a requirement for anyone traveling across country. One year I did it, and had the joyous experience of viewing all of the cattle standing on mountains of cow s#%t. Lovely.
I think Nebraska is a pretty stinky drive too - all 430 miles of stinky wind. Ugh.
Posted by: Eva | August 18, 2005 at 16:29
geez.. hope you're not typing & driving at the same time. As a native 'zoner, let me just say this about the smells you've encountered: The best is yet to come. 'course, I note that this was written monday, so you're probably lying by the side of the road somewhere, blissfully snorting Arizona dust into your lungs (which is, incidentally, a really bad idea).
The phrase you need to know: Manana. Repeat after me.... manana. When can you have that done? Manana... This is really urgent! Manana....
Posted by: Jeff Putnam | March 09, 2005 at 06:03